What to Send in an Anonymous Message on Sarhny (صارحني)

A friend shares their anonymous-message link and asks you to say something honest. You open it, the box is empty, and suddenly you have nothing. Anonymity removes the fear of being judged, but it also removes the usual cues: no tone of voice, no shared joke to lean on, no chance to soften a line with a smile. This guide gives you a simple way to decide what to write, forty example messages sorted by purpose, and a short list of things better left unsent.

Start with one question: what should they feel afterwards?

Before you type, picture your friend reading the message an hour from now. Should they feel noticed, encouraged, amused, or nudged to think about something? Picking the feeling first stops you from writing a vague line that lands as nothing at all. It also stops you from writing a sharp line that lands as an attack.

The useful anonymous messages are small and concrete. “You are great” is pleasant but easy to forget. “The way you calmed everyone down during the group project made the whole week easier” is the kind of sentence people screenshot and keep. The difference is a specific moment, a specific behaviour, and the effect it had on you.

A three-part formula that works for almost anything

If you are stuck, build the message from three short pieces:

1. The moment.When did you notice the thing you want to mention? “At the barbecue last month…”
2. The detail.What exactly did they do or say? “…you stopped to ask the new guy about his job…”
3. The effect.What did it change for you or for others? “…and he told me later it was the reason he stayed.”

The formula works for praise and for gentle feedback alike. It keeps you anchored to something real instead of a judgement about who the person is, and it gives them something they can actually act on or remember.

40 anonymous message ideas, sorted by purpose

Compliments that feel personal (10)

• “Your laugh changes the mood of a room. I hope nobody ever makes you tone it down.”
• “You remember small things people tell you, and it makes them feel important.”
• “Your music recommendations got me through a rough month.”
• “You explain things without making anyone feel slow.”
• “I admire how you say no without making it dramatic.”
• “Your posts are the only ones I stop scrolling for.”
• “You have great taste, and you never make people feel bad for theirs.”
• “You are calmer under pressure than you think you are.”
• “The effort you put into birthdays does not go unnoticed.”
• “You are the friend people text first when something good happens.”

Encouragement for something they are working on (8)

• “Keep going with the drawing. The last few have been a real step up.”
• “Your new job suits you. You talk about it differently.”
• “The fact that you are nervous about the exam means you care. You have prepared more than you admit.”
• “Starting over is hard. I think you are handling it better than you feel you are.”
• “You should post your writing more. It is good.”
• “Whatever you decide about the move, the people who matter will still be here.”
• “Your gym routine is inspiring me to start mine. Thank you.”
• “It is fine to rest this week. You have earned it.”

Gentle, useful feedback (8)

Feedback is where anonymity can help a great deal, and where it can also hurt. Keep it about one behaviour, say why it matters, and leave room for them to disagree.

• “You interrupt sometimes when you get excited. Your ideas are good enough to wait a second.”
• “When plans change last minute, a quick message would help. We do miss you when you do not show.”
• “You put yourself down in group chats as a joke. It is starting to sound like you believe it.”
• “Your presentations are strong; slowing down a little would make them even clearer.”
• “You give everyone advice but never ask for any. You are allowed to need help too.”
• “The sarcasm is funny with us, but newer people in the group cannot tell you are joking.”
• “You are on your phone a lot when we meet up. I would love more of your attention.”
• “You apologise for things that are not your fault. You do not have to.”

Questions that start a real conversation (8)

• “What is something you changed your mind about this year?”
• “Which friendship surprised you the most?”
• “What would you do with a completely empty weekend?”
• “What compliment do you still think about?”
• “What is a skill you secretly want to learn?”
• “Who in your life deserves a thank-you they have not received yet?”
• “What is the best advice you ignored?”
• “What are you proud of that nobody has congratulated you on?”

If you want more question material, the deep questions collection and our list of honest questions to ask friends are good places to borrow from.

Funny but harmless (6)

• “I still think about the time you tried to parallel park for ten minutes and then gave up.”
• “Your playlist naming system needs a team of experts.”
• “Rate your own cooking out of ten. Be honest. We know the real number.”
• “You are the only person who can make a voice note last nine minutes.”
• “Who wins in an argument: you, or you before coffee?”
• “Your sense of direction is a mystery that science cannot explain.”

Funny messages work best when the joke is about a shared memory, not about their body, family, or anything they cannot change. If you would not say it to their face with friends around, it is not a joke.

What not to send

Being anonymous does not change what a message does to the person who reads it. Skip these entirely:

• Comments about appearance or weight.Even “helpful” ones. They cannot be acted on kindly and they stay with people.
• Secrets about other people. An anonymous box is not a place to pass on gossip or reveal what someone else told you.
• Hints designed to make them guess who you are.“Guess who, we met on Tuesday” turns a kind message into a puzzle that can feel unsettling.
• Confessions meant to pressure. If you have feelings for someone, an anonymous message cannot carry the conversation you actually need to have.
• Contact details and outside links. Phone numbers and random links make a message look like spam, and they can put you at risk too.
• Anything you would be ashamed to have traced back to you. Treat every anonymous message as if your name were attached.

How this works on Sarhny

On Sarhny (صارحني), you write to someone through their profile link. A text message needs at least five characters and can run up to 2,000, so there is room for the three-part formula and then some. Before a message is delivered it passes a content check: messages containing blocked abusive words, phone numbers, or links outside a short list of social platforms are turned back, and you are asked to edit them. The account owner also decides who can message them at all, from everyone to only their followers, or nobody.

The message arrives in the owner's private inbox and is not shown publicly unless they choose to answer it. The sender's identity is not shown to the account owner or any other user, and we don't reveal senders' identities or sell your data. If you want to ask your circle one question and collect their honest answers in one place, a mirror does exactly that: you post the question, friends answer anonymously, and only you read the answers.

If you are on the receiving end

Sending good messages is half of the picture. If you share your own link, a little framing goes a long way: tell people what you would like to hear about, such as feedback on your new project or one thing they appreciate about you. A clear prompt attracts better messages. Our guide to getting more anonymous messages covers prompts in detail. And if something unkind slips through, the steps in handling mean anonymous messages explain how to respond, report, and tighten who can reach you.

A quick checklist before you hit send

• Is it about something specific they did, not who they are?
• Would it make sense to them without knowing who wrote it?
• Could they act on it, or simply enjoy it?
• Would you be comfortable if they found out it was you?
• Did you read it once more, out loud, in a neutral voice?

If the answer to all five is yes, send it. A short, honest, kind message can be the best part of someone's day, and it costs you one minute.